The Power of Touch: Why Society Needs More Physical Connection
We live in a society that is more connected than ever through technology, yet more physically disconnected than at any point in human history. People are increasingly afraid of each other, and in that fear, they withdraw. They keep their distance, avoid touch, avoid eye contact, avoid smiling and ultimately suffer the mental and emotional consequences of the deep isolation these behaviours create.
It’s no secret that modern life has created a pandemic of loneliness, depression, anxiety and self-confidence issues. But what if part of the solution is something incredibly simple? What if it’s something we once instinctively knew but have slowly forgotten?
The answer is touch—non-sexual, human-to-human, physical connection.
Touch Is Not Inherently Sexual—It’s Inherently Human
One of the biggest misconceptions in modern society is the belief that all touch is somehow tied to sexuality. This is a tragic misunderstanding that has led to widespread repression, discomfort, and disconnection.
Touch is one of the most fundamental ways that humans communicate. Before we had language, before we had culture, we had physical interaction and body language. Touch conveys trust, care, respect, and even love in ways that words never can. And yet, we’ve built a culture where touch is either seen as invasive, inappropriate, or solely for romantic or sexual relationships.
The reality is that touch exists on a vast spectrum, and sexual touch is only a tiny fraction of its purpose. If we look at other primates, we see them constantly engaging in non-sexual physical interaction—grooming, play-fighting, hugging, resting on one another. These behaviors reinforce social bonds and provide a deep sense of security and belonging.
Humans are no different. We need touch. It regulates our nervous system, reduces stress, fosters trust, and reminds us that we are part of something bigger than ourselves.
The Loss of Touch in Modern Society
Somewhere along the way, society became increasingly touch-averse. Fear of inappropriate contact, social anxiety, and an overemphasis on personal space have all contributed to an environment where physical interaction is rare. Outside of handshakes, brief hugs, or the occasional pat on the back, most people go through their daily lives completely deprived of meaningful touch and connection with other people.
This isn’t just sad—it’s deeply damaging to individuals and to society.
Studies have shown that lack of physical contact can lead to increased levels of anxiety, depression, alienation and even physical health issues. Babies who are deprived of touch fail to thrive. Adults who lack touch often experience higher levels of stress and social withdrawal.
The less we touch, the more fragmented we become as a society. Fear grows. Isolation increases. And people retreat further into their own worlds, believing that everyone is a potential threat rather than a potential ally.
Combat Sports: An Unexpected Sanctuary for Physical Connection
One of the last remaining places where touch is completely normal, respected, and even celebrated is in combat sports—especially in disciplines like Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ), wrestling, and MMA.
In these spaces, people are constantly engaging in controlled, physical interaction. Rolling in BJJ, clinching in Muay Thai, or grappling in wrestling requires deep bodily awareness—not just of oneself, but of one’s partner.
Training partners don’t just fight—they feel and respond to each other’s energy. They sense tension, hesitation, confidence, exhaustion and balance. They learn to read body language in a way that is almost surreal.
Through this process, touch is completely normalized. There’s no discomfort, no hesitation. You trust your partner with your body, and in doing so, you forge a connection that goes beyond words. Even after an intense roll—where you have just tried to choke each other unconscious and fold each other’s joints into pretzels—there’s always a handshake, a fist bump, a moment of mutual respect and acknowledgement.
The paradox is beautiful: a room full of people learning how to kill and maim each other is often one of the safest, friendliest, and most welcoming places you’ll ever walk into. The energy is high, but not hostile. The competition is fierce, but not aggressive. Everyone is there to make each other better, to teach each other things and to learn from one another.
The Role of the Neurochemical Cocktail
Part of the magic of combat sports is the neurochemical cocktail it provides. When you train with other people, your body releases adrenaline, endorphins, dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin. This mix creates a natural high—a feeling of exhilaration, connection, and mental clarity.
This post-training euphoria is why martial artists, fighters, and grapplers often seem so happy after beating the hell out of each other. They’ve just pushed their bodies to the limit, tested themselves against another human being, and come out the other side feeling good.
Compare this to a traditional gym environment, where there’s often a sense of silent competition, ego, and individualism. In an MMA gym, there’s laughter, coaching, encouragement, and genuine human connection.
The Forgotten Language of Touch
When you regularly engage in physical interaction—whether through sports, training, or simple gestures—you begin to understand people in a different way. You no longer see them as threats, but as fellow humans. You can feel their emotions through their body language, their movements, their tension.
This is a language that has been largely forgotten in modern society. Many people walk around guarded, afraid to engage, afraid to reach out. But the reality is that touch builds trust. It removes barriers. It turns strangers into friends, competitors into teammates, and individuals into a community.
How We Can Un-Fuck Society
If we want to fix the deep fragmentation in modern life, we need to do two things:
Reverence for Sex – People need to stop seeing sex as the only form of meaningful touch and start treating it as something intentional and deeply sacred. If we respected sex more, we wouldn’t use it as a stand-in for the deeper connection we’re actually craving.
Open-Mindedness to Touch – We need to normalize non-sexual touch in everyday life. We need to hug more, shake hands more, sit shoulder to shoulder, and engage in physical activities that involve real human connection.
Imagine a world where people weren’t scared of each other. A world where touch wasn’t seen as invasive or taboo, but as a natural part of life. Where people had healthy outlets for aggression and competition, so they didn’t bottle it up and let it turn into resentment. Where people weren’t starved for connection because they were already getting it in abundance in healthy, meaningful ways.
This isn’t a fantasy—it’s how humans lived for thousands of years before the insanity of repression and social conditioning twisted our instincts and turned everything on it’s head.
The solution is right in front of us. It’s in our hands, literally. We just have to reach out.